I just sat at my computer to update my ipod and I saw a huge pile of pictures. I, not regretedly, decided to look at them. I pulled out the first picture and holy hell it was from a looooong time ago. Back when I still had a lot to learn.

You can reminisce about old times, but you can't go back to them. I mean I guess you can in your memories. You can think about your regrets and what you would have done differently, but you can't do anything about them. Do you really think you're going to have enough guts to actually do something about it after so much time has pasted?? Yeah, didn't think so.

I have learned so much, oh geez. About guys - some are complete sweethearts and become your best friend in your relationships and others are just weird and you just get the chills when you think about it and almost want to throw up alittle...or maybe it's because you're drunk and it's just about that time to let a little out...haha. About friends - some are in it for the long haul and some are just passing through to teach you a lesson and leave. Yeah, definitely had a few of those...(clears throat). About school - One tip for those of you that are still in high school...don't think that college is the same. It's 10 times harder and not as forgivable. Trust me, I should know. I thought it wasn't going to be much of a change and definitely was wrong on that one. "The first semester is always the hardest"- quoted from my dad. It's great if you get a 2.0 first semester is what I've been told. About family - Some become even more a pain in your ass. Or maybe that's only because I'm living at home and not in a dorm...but i'm moving out none the less. About cars -  yes cars! expensive lil suckers. About money - It seems in college that everything costs more. I even have a freakin $600 scholarship when my tuition is only $819 and holy hell everything is still expensive...it's like senior year open lunch, but longer and more expensive because you're sick of fast food. yuckkk.

Just some thoughts. Can you believe I got all that from just looking at a few pictures? yeahhh...I think too much. My boyfriend even says it...haha. going on 6 months...today actually- HA!

okay so updates?

school is ...okay. You never really realize how different it is from high school until you know your grades. whoops? don't worry- i got it under control.

The boyfriend is good...no scratch that...he's wonderful.

why are people still holding bullshit? it's like they hold it in their hand and just wait until they can throw it are you later... whatever that just makes me see that their insecure with their ways and just need something to think is worse than something else...freakin' bored people...

Work is amazing....I'm getting double my hours next semester. I talked to my program manager today=)

I'm moving out. Yes, I'm moving out and into an apartment with Miss Blair Smith. amazing huh? I thought my dad would put his foot down and be like uhh  no, but surprisingly he was like I have this furniture for you and blah blah blah. sweeeeet.

I'm going to pensacola with Blair and Adam in two weeks exactly to see Blair's fiance, Bob. ahhh good times.

anywho...what's up with you?

I just have to say a couple things...

Fuck youuuu for being hypocritical. Fuck youuuu for thinking that you're better than everybody else. Fuck youuuu for blaming me for stuff I never did, or intended to do. Fuck youuuu for not calling me back. Fuck youuuu for being that person that got on my nerves to the farthest extent...

but

Thank you for teaching me a lesson. I'm ready to be friends...if that's allowed. I'm ready to go to you for advice...if that's allowed. I'm over it, are you?

College is good. So much more freedom! You become friends with people you haven't talked to in like 2 years really because of someone else. You become friends with people you never in a million years would have thought you would have. But I love it. The homework sucks. Definitely don't know what's going on in my economics class...definitely LOVE statistics because i get it=) definitely have all lecture classes...

I love my boyfriend deeply. I seriously don't know what i would do without him. We've grown so close in the time we've been together. He's taught me so much and I'm pretty sure i've taught him a few things as well. He bought me a dozen red roses last weekend and 2 tickets to the Fray concert on October 10th.=)!

enough for now...yes

*sigh*

Summer is almost over...where has it gone. The last day of summer camp and being a counselor was Friday...I have the next week and a half off. On one note I'm so happy to be done because the hours were insane and on another note I'm sad because I got attached to some of those kids...bummer huh?

It's funny...the occasions that make you really think. Having to watch two friends up and leave their friends and family to go serve our country is incredibly hard. Watching one stand in the middle of the street and just savoring that moment looking at the neighborhood he has lived in most of his life and watching the other and his girlfriend saying goodbye. I just want to curl up and die than watch that.

What situations are girls allowed to get paranoid about? hanging out with exes? to an extent i think. My own personal opinion may be different than say you who are reading this. It depends how attached you to the guy or what the relationship status was while they were dating or how long they dated. It's a hard debate and most guys would just say "whatever, be paranoid all you want." or there are others(i'm a victim of this one) that would say "ok babe I won't dare talk to her again just to make you happy". Understandable either way but it still sucks.

I figure that if you don't take chances with things then how do you know if they work or not? If I would have never took a chance- i don't know where i would be right now than being with my baby. Funny how things seriously work out and even on that note to an extent that you never in your wildest mind would have thought of. I wonder what the true definition of love is. I know I have my own and so does every other person out there...but what's the one and only definition?

just some thoughts?

i'm feeling pretty good about things up to this point. The transition from high school to college has definitely been...uhh interesting.

*I have an amazing boyfriend. He treats me better than my past 2 relationships...good thing too=)

*One of my dad's best friends died on Wednesday from cancer. I cried...alot and i'm going to the funeral but I still can't help but think that I actually was going to see him last Sunday...but my dad hurt his back...

*Friendships come and go...but there's a few that you should hold on to. There's definitely a few i'm missing alot and then again there's about uhh one that I am so happy to be away from.

*signing up for my classes. I got a $500 scholarship to play in the JCCC concert band on flute. That's pretty good since my tuition is $1008! My classes start at 9am on MWF and 11am on TR...sweet huh? plus, I have just about every MWF class with Anna- except one...

*work...too much fun. I actually love my job. Even if I have to be there at 9am and leave at 6pm...I still get to go to some pretty cool places. For example...The zoo and science city. heck yes! The kids are funny to watch and it's amazing how much they remind me of when I was their age and in ymca summer day camp....

I think that's all for now. There's probably not going to be anyone that reads this anyways...so later=)

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